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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/toby30
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26 Public Reviews Given
26 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Penelope,
It was a pleasure to read such a well presented story.
It is hard in life to maintain a positive outlook, so good luck in coping with that challenge.
Kind thoughts for the future.

Toby
2
2
Review of Milk Run  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (1.0)
Hello Captain,
Started a message but the gremlin in my computer is having a bad day, and cleared my screen.
What I was going to write , was ' maybe Ill see the outline some other time'.
Happy writing,

Toby
3
3
Review of No where  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hi Steven,
You have mastered the knack of showing not telling.
Well done.

This piece could be the first part of a piecemeal story. Each writer adding a paragraph or so.

Keep writing,
Toby30
4
4
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Anner,
You describe the two approaches very well.

Unfortunately life doesn't permit the rational, reasoned, summation to have an immediate effect.
I wish it did. The fanatic makes the noise and attracts attention and support.
The reasoned opinions are lost in academic journals, available explain the mess much later.
Which is why we must elect governments with care.
Love your style, keep it up.
Toby
5
5
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (2.5)
I read your prose and my insecurity complex began to warm. up.
Here is this person putting words together and they are flowing well.
Gee that's great. You reached me.

These days few of us have a pen. and fewer have a pencil after high school.
Solid ink in a plastic tube, most times . thank goodness for the computer keyboard letting us toss the letters to the monitor screen



Well done, Dimo , Keep it up.
6
6
Review of A holiday in Elie  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
A good start for the story.

A small point , one which happens to me sometimes. letters transposed in words.

It will read better if you write My brother and I were both really excited.

Who else are you traveling with?

Keep writing, I look forward to reading more.
7
7
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (1.5)
I had to read this a few times before I grasped the idea of your planned story. .

It will have more impact if you make it into shorter sentences. .
For example about them first
then about you. Introspection Personal analysis.

Try it and see if you like it .
Then you can say, He can go and boil his head!

Keep writing.

Small point . spell checker let you down with Hear and Here
8
8
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (1.5)
Like the soda , your story is sweet.
It brings out the thoughts of the child, daring to be naughty.
The actions are described well, easy to visualize as they were happening.

Maybe you could change one of the grabbed or grabbing words.
A comma or two could help us poor readers.
or should I have written we poor readers?

Keep on writing.
9
9
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (3.5)
This short story is full of feeling.
The description of events brings one into the rooms, where the action takes place.
It is tragic. One can emphasize with those who have endured such an event.

I wouldn't want to read many of these stories because they come across so real.
10
10
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
Hi, ccseely,

Talk about coincidences.,
I had just loaded my short story, Emma, a mermaids tale,When I decided to do a review on a newbie. What did I see , Mermaids Tails in front of my eyes.

All I can say Is 'Hurry up and post it'. I must read it.

Toby
11
11
Review of Frustration  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Annie Patch,

Nicely put.
I guess we all drift through those thimes.
quite often with me anyway.
So, I play solitaire.
Toby
12
12
Review of Bad Day  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (3.5)
Shelly,
I think you must have a programmable crystal ball,

This chain of events has occurred more than once in my embarrassing history.

Well, if not all quite a few anyway.

I enjoyed reading this story
13
13
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (3.5)
Well written Rosie Lee,

You made me remember relatives , their bulging handbags and contents over my lifetime.

Thanks for bringing them back to mind , for a moment.
14
14
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (4.0)
Quite moving and thought provoking.
A nice story.

Still thinking about it.
15
15
Review of The Sound  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Tom Buck,
That was a most readable story,
I enjoyed it .
What else to say,

Keep writing,

Toby30
16
16
Review of Windy days.  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: E | (1.5)
Hi Louis,
I liked the story once I passed the first paragraph.
Maybe you could reduce the number of lines which detail his appearance.
It just seemed too concentrated.

Keep writing,

Tony30
17
17
Review of Off Character  
Review by Toby Smith
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, D Alexander,
I enjoyed reading this story, gave me a smile in every paragraph.
keep it up.
Toby30
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