Hello Penelope,
It was a pleasure to read such a well presented story.
It is hard in life to maintain a positive outlook, so good luck in coping with that challenge.
Kind thoughts for the future.
Hello Captain,
Started a message but the gremlin in my computer is having a bad day, and cleared my screen.
What I was going to write , was ' maybe Ill see the outline some other time'.
Happy writing,
Hi Anner,
You describe the two approaches very well.
Unfortunately life doesn't permit the rational, reasoned, summation to have an immediate effect.
I wish it did. The fanatic makes the noise and attracts attention and support.
The reasoned opinions are lost in academic journals, available explain the mess much later.
Which is why we must elect governments with care.
Love your style, keep it up.
Toby
I read your prose and my insecurity complex began to warm. up.
Here is this person putting words together and they are flowing well.
Gee that's great. You reached me.
These days few of us have a pen. and fewer have a pencil after high school.
Solid ink in a plastic tube, most times . thank goodness for the computer keyboard letting us toss the letters to the monitor screen
Like the soda , your story is sweet.
It brings out the thoughts of the child, daring to be naughty.
The actions are described well, easy to visualize as they were happening.
Maybe you could change one of the grabbed or grabbing words.
A comma or two could help us poor readers.
or should I have written we poor readers?
This short story is full of feeling.
The description of events brings one into the rooms, where the action takes place.
It is tragic. One can emphasize with those who have endured such an event.
I wouldn't want to read many of these stories because they come across so real.
Talk about coincidences.,
I had just loaded my short story, Emma, a mermaids tale,When I decided to do a review on a newbie. What did I see , Mermaids Tails in front of my eyes.
All I can say Is 'Hurry up and post it'. I must read it.
Hi Louis,
I liked the story once I passed the first paragraph.
Maybe you could reduce the number of lines which detail his appearance.
It just seemed too concentrated.
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