This is an excellent story, and very well written. I was drawn in immediately and it kept my attention to the very end. It was a very sweet tale, I empathized with Sid a great deal. Great job! I wish I could write half as well as you do. keep up the good work!
First off, as a Mother of teens, I would need to start out saying that you should probably change the rating on this to 18+. I don't think this is appropriate for any young teen.
Now that that is out of the way, in terms of 'Character testing' they seem to be believable as people, in fact almost too believable. They keep to the form and function, but at times seem to be almost fantasy. I also noticed the similarity of your (author's) name and the name of the main character.
I didn't concern myself with the grammar or spelling, seeing that you have someone to do that. As for if I would want to read more about Sherry and her friends antics. I, personally, would not. Sorry.
I do think however, that your writing style is great. I love your use of visualization. The subject matter would not be my 1st choice, but it's a good story. well written.
This is very amusing. Thank you for the giggle. You see my husband could probably take some notes from yours, he hasn't got the gift thing figured out and can use as much help as he can get.
I love the way you keep the reader interested. Great job. Looking forward to reading some of your other things. :)
I found the first couple of paragraphs to be hard to get into. I could definitely tell when inspiration hit you, I could tell that when everything started flowing into a steadily increasing pace. The suspense was fantastic. Thank you for a good read. :)
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tldarling
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 8:38pm on Nov 15, 2024 via server WEBX1.