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Review by T.J. Charley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked this... it is very passionate and you did a good job taking the reader to that "star" to be there with the prince and princess. Might I suggest you work on the timing of the lines? You seem to want it to have a certian rythm, but some lines don't fit in well. For example:

"The Prince and his Princess soared to a special star to sit,"

It took me a couple of times to figure out what the timing was on this one. Instead, you might think of saying:

"The Prince, his Princess, soared..."

Overall, well written! I will be reading more of your work.

-Tisa Joy
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