This one has some sweeping sense, growing from a quiet thing into a powerful rush. It is a VISUAL poem, as well. I assume the graphic form is intentional ... what with "wave" being at the top of the longest line. This is nicely done; the deliberate aim and the subject exactly reinforce one another. Whereas I might question "sleep", the finishing line is superb. I will remember this one.
Strong! It rumbles with subsurface power. I think the words "...come back again" could be strengthened by striking them and replacing with a simple "return". You lose one syllable but win impact. This may be my favorite among the poems you have presented here. This poem resonates with me.
Haven't heard this one in writers' group. I am personally, a fan of rhyme. It isn't doggerel to me. I like this one, although I am not such a fan of repeating a stanza, no matter how cleverly it is enjambed. What is "ab-fab", BTW; sometimes a modern usage can escape a reader such as I. Agree w/t sentiment. Stanza 1, as I read it, humorous. A fun read.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thunderpen
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 3:42am on Nov 14, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
