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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thunderpen
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Thunderpen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This one has some sweeping sense, growing from a quiet thing into a powerful rush. It is a VISUAL poem, as well. I assume the graphic form is intentional ... what with "wave" being at the top of the longest line. This is nicely done; the deliberate aim and the subject exactly reinforce one another. Whereas I might question "sleep", the finishing line is superb. I will remember this one.
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Review of Qadr  Open in new Window.
Review by Thunderpen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Strong! It rumbles with subsurface power. I think the words "...come back again" could be strengthened by striking them and replacing with a simple "return". You lose one syllable but win impact. This may be my favorite among the poems you have presented here. This poem resonates with me.
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Review of Mission girl  Open in new Window.
Review by Thunderpen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Haven't heard this one in writers' group. I am personally, a fan of rhyme. It isn't doggerel to me. I like this one, although I am not such a fan of repeating a stanza, no matter how cleverly it is enjambed. What is "ab-fab", BTW; sometimes a modern usage can escape a reader such as I. Agree w/t sentiment. Stanza 1, as I read it, humorous. A fun read.
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