Uhm I first realise there is no punctuation.. I don't know if you did that purposely, or if that's your style, but sometimes it helps the reader if there's some form of punctuation so they can feel the flow... Secondly, at the end you say 'lessoned learned'....That's not grammatically accurate really so I'd look at that again... Great start to poetry tho! ~ The Winter
This sounds a lot like a spoken word poem, i.e. you have to read it to hear it. Being a spoken word poet I totally and really enjoyed this. Just the rhythm and continuous writing, as if it's a stream of thoughts is amazing. Whoever this person is, is extremely lucky!
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