You've got the rhythm down perfectly, that is what I noticed immediately, but upon rereading its easy to see how good you are at describing this beautiful and serene atmosphere and making it so very personal. There are no flaws I can clearly see other than I really wish it were longer, but maybe that's just a selfish want. Great work here indeed!
I really enjoyed this, reminded me of one of my nature-oriented poetry snippets. Your imagery is brilliantly original and I respect your ability to create a lyrical piece that's nevertheless outstandingly vivid.
This poem expresses feeling I know I've felt very vividly and your writing talents are very apparent! Lines like "to start anew in solitude" are totally following the mindset I have personally oftentimes and you reflect these feelings very well in your poem. I love the feeling when it's just me and the night and I can see someone shares my appreciation of it's dark bliss.
You are clearly able to convey ideas into poems very well!
I like the sheer power these lyrics possess, you do a great job of conveying the thought of such utter helplessness. I can definitely see these being put to music and making a great piece whether it be a ballad or death metal song, their really human lyrics and could be set to quite literally anything.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this pretty personal piece and look forward to seeing more of your work.
Fantasy poetry is not my type of thing so that could be a factor but it seems like all poems of this type don't contain any of the poets emotion which really doesn't appeal to me. Your word choice is great and the poem flows very smoothly but it's lacking that human factor that I feel poetry should have. It's an impulse for me, but others certainly do enjoy fantasy poetry and this will surely appeal to them.
I really enjoyed this, it's one of those poems that doesn't give it's meaning away immediately and I love that but it also has several lines which really appeal to me like the repeated "flowers in your hair" parts. This could definitely do well in a contest in my opinion, your word choice is fantastic and I found the flow pretty easily which is important in contest entries. I hope you do decide to enter it!
This poem was haunting to me basically because I have a very similar relationship with one of my teachers, love her to death but I fear she doesn't know the real me. For this reason alone, having a personal connection, I found this poem an interesting read and I'm sure many others would too. I'm pretty sure the rhythm never stumbles which is quite a feat for an idea this complicated. I'll be looking at more of your work based on this!
A poem with a very good main idea, very thoughtful on the subject of real nasty people and beautifully honest. I especially loved the last two lines. However, it seems the rhyme in the first stanza is kind of forced although I'm not really sure how it could be done differently. I really did enjoy this though!
The fact that you based this on an e-mail certainly makes it interesting for me and strangely enough some of the lines remind me of some of my own poetry. Very beautiful in the way you present the topic and the content is definitely something you'd find in an email. Impressive work!
Extremely well written! The coastal theme that goes with the topic of lost love really makes this one of a kind and worth reading. The last stanza is just breathtaking and a very excellent ending to a very excellent poem. I will be looking forward to reading more of your work!
Speaking as a newbie myself, this is very good work that I really enjoyed reading. Terms like "pale blue eyes" really bring some personal and beautiful memories to my mind and the overall topic of the poem equates to my life as of right now. Very good job of making a thoughtful yet professional poem.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thetruth34
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 9:44am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
