What you have in mind here is an epic. When I say that, I mean I can already tell that this whole story played out in your head before you even started typing (or possibly writing if you made some sort of ruff draft). The ending in particular screams the type of thing you would see at the end of a short film, with the bird falling to his death and speaking his last words of wisdom, ironically the moral of the story. The only issue this creates is that the pacing is often too quick; I can tell you really wanted to get to the perfect ending you had already created in your mind. I realize however that this is for a competition with a 2000 word limit, but that can be read in a matter of two minutes, and this is a lot of information to take in for two minutes. Anyways, good job, I’m giving this a 5/5 because I love the theme, and try and consider writing a longer version of this, because I’d love to read it.
I would like to start by saying, WOW, what an amazing story. I was really touched not only by the themes at hand, but how well done the story was overall. At no point was I uninterested or just hoping to finish it; instead I was well entertained the whole time. You also managed to create a real character in a very short amount of time, whom I actually in a way became attached too. I give this story a 5/5, and I'm rooting for you to win the "Beyond The Waters Edge" contest for the month of december.
An excellent short story with a bucket full of irony and a great storyline that gets its job done in the two and a half minutes it took me to read it. The main characters are easy to picture, and the secondary main character is a duck, doesent get much better than that.
Grammar is superb, writing is phenomonal, and your short story gets a five out of five from me.
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