Hello, I really liked this poem. As someone who meditates on a regular basis I can identify the ideas in this piece. The presentation is good and definitely helps the reading. It's interesting the communication we can have in these states, and what it has to teach us.
I like this, as it describes how we can trap our whole worldview but refusing to learn and grow. I only have a few suggestions: 1) I don't think the first paragraph is necessary; if the reader starts from the second paragraph the meaning is much clearer and the entry into the story is more dramatic (in my opinion). 2) The words "darkness" and "cold" repeat throughout the piece, and I found myself scanning over these bits. Maybe think of alternative ways to express the same idea? Maybe the numbing effect of the ice against the skin, as an example. 3) The realisations the character has, well, how does he arrive at these? What about his environment presents itself to his understanding? There could be a clearer link between the struggling and the epiphany.
Overall, though, I enjoyed it.
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