I like this! It was an easy read with a theme that i enjoyed. I've always enjoyed the twist of the presumed victims becoming the assailants. It's absolutely a tale that's been told before but you did it well in a short amount of time. Giving it a very present day touch was a plus also. Nice job!
I thought the story was a nice mixture of humor and what I perceived to be a statement on society today. Whether that was intended or not, I'm not 100% sure. Overall, I thought it was a solid short story but nothing too memorable. I felt like there was something missing in the writing that would have made it stand out a bit more. Perhaps a few more words or better spacing; I'm not sure exactly what it was missing but I could tell it wasn't what it could have been.
I will say that I wouldn't mind seeing Carol Johnson's story going forward and perhaps get a comedic follow-up to where she landed after her "historic" failure.
I agree with your message on hate. It is the worst part of this world and should be used towards the most vile of people/things if it is even to be used at all. It sounds like you have your mind in the right place and realize that there is a good message to be sent by getting the word out there and knocking it to the ground.
I did find that your writing ran together a bit. It probably could have been turned into a few paragraphs and would have come together much better. And while I see that you understand the illness of the word and feeling of hate, I would have liked to have seen you resolve your feelings with it and perhaps offer a solution to avoid getting caught up in it.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thedrifter79
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 6:12am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.
| (4.0)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "