Thank you so much for sharing your writing Mayday. I would like to start my review with the phone conversation at the start of the story. The conversation did not feel like it was between two long friends and because there were not enough background information regarding Kate and Jasmine's friendship, it did not feel realistic. Moving on, the internal monologue in the story also fell short of deepness and authenticity. However, the last portion of the story in the New Church was a nice development, although the transition to a different pace and topic did not feel smooth. Overall, it was a fun read, however, I would love to see an extended version of the story with more information on Kate and Jasmine's friendship. Thank you for sharing and have a great day!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tearyorange
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 7:43pm on Dec 11, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
