I feel that your thoughts on painting with words could be more drawn out. i found no spelling, grammatical, or puncuation errors. That's a big plus because I know I make them. Continue to write. I want to read more of your work and I invite you to view some of mine. Best wishes.
I really enjoyed this piece. The only thing that kept you from a five was a spelling error. mabey-maybe.I think a simple edit will get you at five in no time. I think if you continue to write your feeling the way you are and be careful with your spelling and puncuation, each poem may recieve five stars. You certainly have the potential. Continue to write it works for you.
I like the ryme pattern only it seemes your words flow a two different paces. Maybe if you try a constant rythmn it will help. The over all poem was great.
I wouldn't change anything. It delivers how deep your feelings run and your feelings themselves are poetry waiting to be written. So continue to write sweetie!
I enjoyed your poem very much. The way you desribed your emotins so broadly painted a clear picture in my head of what you were feeling. i must say I have been in those shoes also. continue to write you have great talent.
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