What I really liked in your poem was the modernist appeal to it and the unconventional choice of style. I wanted to read more...I felt that though you have a promising poem there, you could have thrown in a few references and allusions...I liked the way you wrote the last passage but the end felt very anti - climatic. I think you should throw in an extra passage just to substantiate why you feel she flexes her wing nubs and steps out on the ledge to learn if she can fly.
Good job!
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