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Review of The Good Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Taccic Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is an interesting journey of self-discovery for Ronald Jackson, but by shunting from his perspective to the other woman's, I feel that the revelation actually loses some of its impact. I would suggest writing away from the shifting narrative and focus on his outlook exclusively.

For instance, when he's in the batrhroom, examining himself by way of her mirror, this would be a good time to entertain thoughts of his wife, how they met, how he ended up with her even though he's obviously convinced he could do better. Introduce that first hint of doubt there.

Then contrast that vision of his wife with this beautiful woman he finds himself with, and when she boasts about what she's done, and why, he's brought to epiphany and then panic as he realizes what's just taken place.

I don't mean to be a co-writer in this, I'm sorry if it seems that's what I've done here. Rather, I'd hoped to demonstrate to you that you might be able to avoid the second perspective and still demonstrate both his motives and hers.

I really like where you take this, by the way, that just as he realizes what he's about to lose, he loses it anyway, and I hope these comments can be of some use to you. : )

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