\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/taarash
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
80 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Taarash Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
How did the writing make me feel? Did it invoke any emotions?

Sent shivers through my spine
Could feel the pain in my eyes

Can i relate to the writing through a personal experience?

Yes, we all have had love not returned
Yes, it is painful
Yes, we dont stop loving them

Did the plot interest me? Were the characters believable?

The plot interested me, very much so
And you have, cuz you have well written so

Did the time, place and other setting characteristics work together?

Yes, nothing seems out of time and place

What did i like most?
The way the poet has written a literary song

What did i like least?
I did not understand the second stanza
Esp,the second line in the second stanza

Is there anything i would change within the writing?

IMHO, the word 'journal' somehow doesnt seem to fit, you need an equivalent old or middle english word similar to it

'Open heart divine', is the word divine describing the heart just like the word 'open' which is also describing the heart. in that case, i think we might need a comma after heart ? am not sure

Instead of those eyes, if you say your eyes, i think it might sound better

A comma needed after 'another' in the 3rd stanza, 2nd line

A few nits here and there, but enjoyed reading and reviewing your poem

Please review my work, when you get a chance
thanks
2
2
Review by Taarash Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
The content is definitely there.
A few things to take into consideration :

1. Please check spellings, for example the title is 'a tradionational' and not 'an traditional'
There a couple of l's extra out there

2. Visual appeal, spacing and paragraphs would be great

If you can make this visually look better and correct the english mistakes, this article would inform the readers about Vaastu, the equivalent of FengShui.
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/taarash