I enjoyed this poem and felt the emotion, however I thought the last two lines seem to cram too much into them, a simpler ending may have been better? :)
I felt this was a story one had to really concentrate on, because it is a deep story.
The first thing I noticed was the thread of bitterness? That ran through the whole story.I thought this was great, because within the first few minutes I was feeling the feelings of the person in the story?
The first few paragraphs seemed somewhat rushed, and lacking the depth of details that the rest of the story has?
My opnion is that this is a good story, with some depth,just polish it up a bit, and I feel it would make even better reading.......:))
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