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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sparkylarky
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Review by Sparky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow. This is a fantastic short story! You probably hear this a lot, but I think it could be developed into an excellent book. (And I don't tell people that often.) That is actually the only reason I didn't rate it a 5. I feel like the passage of time could have been handled better. Two years didn't feel like two years. If you don't want to make this a book (or even a novella) I might recommend putting in some details, when you mention time passing. Make it feel a little more distant. Help your reader see the growth that happens over the time. But, all in all, a very touching story. Great job!
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