Yes, It’s a good fantasy about a perfect family. All parents have wishes to bring their children ideally and making them in some superheros. I like the idea of calling them sun and moon who will shine on their own like stars. Well versed except the lines “Chiharu and I have a boy / Kagome and I have a girl”. The word `and’ instead of a simple comma, here conveys different meaning though.
Otherwise, I find it a nice poem about family life and relations.
I don't know if this could be a review in true sense, but the verse made me compose few lines with same meaning in my language.
रानात उमले फूल एक सफेद
शोभते जसा मोती हारात,
सौंदर्य कळ्यांचे ते पाहूनी
हरखे एक फुलपाखरू मनी...
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