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Review of Winter Ghosts  Open in new Window.
Review by smphillips Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really enjoyed reading your poem. The first stanza really grabbed me and made me want to read on.

To make it flow a little more nicely, maybe you could change the wording just a bit. For instance, in the last line of the 2nd stanza, you could maybe word it something like, "keeping low to the floor" instead of "And kept low down to the floor". Also, this last line gives the impression that she's inside when it says that she's outside "hiding behind a hedge". The last stanza loses me a bit. It really is a good poem, but I left it a bit disappointed. Maybe you could change it to leave the reader thinking "aaaahhhh" instead of "huh" (if that makes any sense...lol)

I think you have a really great start. I can imagine someone reciting your poem around a campfire with a flashlight held under his chin. With just a little work, you can accomplish that last little surprising scare that makes a great campfire story.

Keep in mind, these are just my opinions and suggestions, so take it for what it's worth.

Have a great day and keep on writing! :)
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