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6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Cadence  Open in new Window.
Review by JVesper Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked the recurrence of the single line. I felt the repetition suited the poem well, giving it the cadence to which the title of the pieces alludes. The word "little" is misspelled in the 5th stanza, but perhaps that is the "haggard error" you mention in the following line. You might consider seperating the taps mentioned at the start of the 12th stanza by hyphens or ellipses. It might slow the pace of the poem a bit. Well done!
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Review by JVesper Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like how the poem becomes more weighty as I made my way through it. The language in the first few stanzas is short and rather carefree. I think this works well to reflect the innocence that comes with those early years in a person's life. I really like the "no sense of gravity" line. You do a nice job of transitioning to the deeper stuff. The line. "I study hate; picking daisies on our lawn." is one that jumps out at me during the that transition. In fact, I think that line would be great for the focus of an entirely different poem. The use of questions in the last few stanzas is an effective way to show reflection as the years pass. Well done.
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