This is a nice story of love and relationship. And it is inspiring too. I have always liked stories about ordinary people and their lives. This is one such story. So my overall impression about the story was good.
And yet I don't know why I can't point out one thing that I really liked. I somehow feel that you rushed things a little bit. Writing about such a long period of the protagonist's life in such a small space doesn't allow for enough character development. I have myself posted a story here and probably it also suffers from the same drawback.
But nevertheless it was a good attempt. I probably search O Henry (my favourite story teller)in every story, which, i guess, is unjustified. As for errors, I generally do not look out for them as I am more interested in having a feel of the story. So I am not writing anything about errors.
There are three things, which, according to me are important in a short story. A clourful, vivid description of the environment, the philosophical outlook of the author, and the development of the characters within limited space.
Remember, this is my personal opinion and you need not agree to what I say. But what you must remember is to keep writing.
I stumbled upon your portfolio because of your name. I mean an Indian name amidst all the foreign names is something I don't get to see often. And since I myself am an Indian I also decided to read this story of yours.
And I am glad that I read this story. Its an exceedingly well written short story. The best part is you coulourful and vivid description of the immediate environment. You have done a great job on that front. I suppose it was an error free writing, at least I didn't find any. Your vocabulary is also good. The philosophical outlook of the author is very important in giving direction to the story. You scored on that front too. So on the whole it was a very good effort.
But somewhere I felt you went overboard with the description of the environment. I don't know maybe it was only me who felt like this.
The hallmark of a good story teller is the ability to create stories out of thin air, to create incidents out of seemingly non-incidents, and the ability to take important decisions. If you keep on improving and writing like this you will be well on you way to becoming one yourself.
Have a great day!
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