This reads like "stream of conscious" writing. If that's your goal, nailed it!
In the 4th paragraph, you start out talking about the current day, then move on to 1984, and then you bring up 1974. With no context, it's a little hard to follow. What are the similarities in these 3 times that are bringing you to this piece? Give us a bit of insight.
Further down, how do the videos pertain to obscure somberness (which, by the way, is a gorgeous phrase)?
If you wanted to, you could expand on a few things and make this a longer and more introspective piece.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sidwoman
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 3:08am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.