THIS IS MINDFUCK. I FUCKING LOVE THIS!! Is there a continuation to it? Something this great can't possibly end so abruptly, right? I love your work! You draw the reader in, through all the cutesy-ness of a young mind, through a short flashback AND THEN BAM! you hit the reader with a shot of raw truth. Some may say it;s twisted but hell, I honestly think this piece is meant to dismantle, meant to make the reader dismantle himself to feel the impact of the boy mentioned in the story.
Oh, did I mention? GREAT START/STORY !
First off, GODDAMN I LOVE THIS PIECE. I hope this isn't all there is to it because I love the flow and the tightness of this storyline. You must be a real big fan of rap music, explaining and defining past rappers' music like you did in this piece. I mean seriously, come on, Tupac & Biggie Smalls go alllll the way back & you mentioning them in here does not only prove their big hits into the limelight but prove that music stays for as long as forever does, no matter where the artises are. Music may also seem as the IT thing to get out of Harlem, to make it big. But you have portrayed that that is just not IT. Music is also a form of escapade for those who produce it, especially those who write it knowingly and sincerely. I believe this is the message you're trying to bringforth in this storyline and hell, I'm all feeling it. Your style of writing has gotten me genuinely hooked & altogether stoked just to see how this piece unravels & unfurls. I'm definitely coming back for your updated works !
Hey, MarBou,
Tell you the truth, I actually like how you're inspired to write a story on supernatural cos it sure isn't easy! I like the ideas that you've come up with & you put them across pretty nicely. Even from the start.. you managed to manipulate a simple rescue scene into a meaningful & significant move. The input of 2 voices, later in the story, creates a great form of both vulnerability & confusion that eats into your character's consciousness.
I don't mean to assume, do correct me if I'm wrong, but I reckon the direction of your story is to which the protaganist finds out about himself. Not only about his external abilities but also redefining who he is on the inside. It seems to me that this story is up for a great roller coaster ride to uncovering oneself & that's definitely something that will keep your readers coming back for updates.
I really look forward to the progression of your current work! *thumbs up*
Shidaism
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