Please don't die. I would miss you. Instead, keep writing honestly and telling us how you feel and think and desire.
Existential anxiety really does pass after awhile, but you have a way with words that will last forever. I can tell you that you are real because you touch me with your vulnerability. It is a scary place to be, but here, in this writer's haven there are many of us who have been there, and lived to tell the tale. Please keep honoring us with your presense here with us.
And above all, KEEP ON WRITING FOREVER!
Hi,
I think that if you really thought about this you could do much better with it. It is not a bad poem, it's just not what I would call a good poem, therefore the average rating. I hate doing that. I want to give everyone I see a hug, but I have promised to be honest.
The depth and the flow just don't touch me much.
The idea of writing about "The Need to Want", however is brilliant! I would love to see you do more with the idea. Really dig in and find the passion to fill it out. I would love to read it again if you are willing to rewrite or add to it and let me know.
Very few people can write rhyming poems that satisfy my need for pure, smooth rhthm and flow. You did that very well. You also expressed my own feelings of the overwhelming pressure of the creative energy welling up in my poor overused brain.
The only picks I have are in the first stanza:
"My Minds" Shouldn't that be Mind's?
"which has no place to go" Shouldn't this be "have"?
Anyway I really enjoyed this poem. I read it three times just to enjoy it again!!
This is an awsome article. I really appreciate the sensitivity and patience you put into writing it and in raising your son. The information is great. There are so many parents who have kids with AS that have no clue. This needs to be published everywhere.
My oldest son has AS. He is very bright like your son. His first grade teacher told me that he had a larger vocabulary than she did. The problem, as you know, was that he never understood "apropriate" behavior. He was absolutely honest. He always said what he thought.
He is 25 years old now and has a wife and two kids. He is an aronautics technician with the Army. He managed to survive more than a year in Iraq.
There is hope for them. They have many challenges to overcome, but truly they are gifts from God and have special work to do in this world.
Hi,
You have some wonderful things to say and I truly appreciate your willingness to say them.
Your rhythm and flow are not working in most of the stanzas. I will tell you what I do to cure that. Read it out loud. Listen for glitches in rhythm. If that doesn't work, get someone else to read it to you. If it needs work, they will stumble in some places. If they don't, you are probably okay.
This piece has great potential. Don't give up on it!
This is pretty wonderful, but is it a poem, or is it poetic prose. As poetry it lacks rhythm. As poetic prose it is fantastic. I really felt the waves and sand. I almost smelled the tide turning. It is truly a thing of beauty and grace.
Good Page! It was fairly easy to understand and use. I do have a question though, the last two items on the page deal with erotica, how did they get on. I thought it was supposed to be for E. I am new though and don't always understand things.
Great job! It is good to see that there are still people in this fallen world who have the courage and love to stand true. May the Lord continue to use you and the gifts he has given you and may you allways WRITE ON!!
I cringe!! I shake! I've known that monster. I almost can't make a proper review for you or be rational in the face of the memories you have brought to life. I have to read it twice just to see the words.
Okay... Here we go. The dialogue seemed a little stiff. "No, my love. No!" I think that a man in a panic would have said something a little less poetic. Just my opinion.
"No, please just leave me alone!" In that condition, I would have screamed, "Leave me alone!" no please about it.
See what I mean? I jusst think you could cut out a few words.
WOW!! That was a fantastic read. Thanks for sharing it. I was truly captivated.
The only disruption of flow that I found was in the introduction to Marie's parents. The paragraph beginning was a little awkward and I had to stop and start again. Other than that it was great.
Do us all a favor and WRITE FOREVER!!
Thanks,
Shell
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