this is another great story. these are my personal favorites, partly because of the fictious nature and the mythical creatures that inhabit your story line. dragons are my all time favorite beasts for the protection and fear that they bring. having a story about them is going to bring you much success. i look forward to reading more, and i'd be interested in knowing if you ever pursue the dream of publishing one or all of your stories. i'd buy them!
overall this was a very good story, but i'm not exactly sure if this was within the contest guidelines, but a good read. i will look forward to reading the first story as well. Thank you for entering. Please check out my next contest. Here are your gp's!
wow, you've got guts to compare the navy structure to that of hitler's regime, but i've got to give you credit that i would have done the same thing depending on what the circumstances were. i love that you use their own words agaist them to make your point, for so many people i know just make up stuff to sound important. my only question is how in the world did you manage to survive after turning this in. its great that this was published and even though you couldn't use your name, at least its out there and someone else felt your same passion. who knows, maybe it was catchy and you started something. anyways, i admire you for your creativity, and for your heart. good luck in the future.
hey darren,
i don't see what they are confused about. the fact that you wrote the story from the perspective of the $20 is very unique and i would never have thought of it. this is a great story as the flow of events just goes to show how corrupt everyone truly is. its also interesting to imagine the many lives this $20 has been apart of, and how they got there.
great job!
hey darren,
i just thought i would stop by your port to read some more work from you today.
This an excellent story of irony. its kind of sad, but very true in many cases as i know i've been there trying to think of ways to solve the families financial problems also.
irony is also a very evil too, as you cleary displayed. that would be just my luck too, win the big one finally and never be able to enjoy it.
this story is pretty good and for the most part i enjoyed this one. the only thing that would make this one better is if i knew if it was true. i love true stories about the things that inspire you or that you've experienced. i like the story line to this one pretty well and its easy to follow, and i felt as if i was apart of this story, or at least as if i were watching it on a movie screen. nicely written and hope you do well in this contest and at writing.com. thank you for taking the time to enter.
this is exactly what i was looking for. you told a great story, sad but true, and made me feel as if i took every step of the way with you. i felt the emotions of loosing my grandmother too, all over again reading this. i'm glad that you were able to keep peace throughout the not-so-peaceful time, and overcome your great loss. great job on this story and i look forward to the outcome of this contest!
ann ticipation
as always, i really love this poem. one of the reasons i truly enjoy your poems so much is because even though its poetry, it also tells a story. your words always draw me in and make me feel like i were in the same room as the characters. the descriptions that you use make the words come alive. i'm glad i have had so many opportunities to read much of your work. it in itself is an inspiration to aspire to be a better writer, or poet. what i love most about this piece is that no matter how sad truly is, in this poem, you show the bright side, the better side of growing old with the ones you love, and that not death ends that eternal bond. love transcends both life and death. i almost envy this couple and can only wish that at my end, i hope i can express my true love in the same manner, and take it with me to wherever the place is that awaits me. i'm so glad that you've entered this contest, and look forward to seeing the results.
i found this letter to be very informational, and strikes me curious at the same time, but i will get to that in a minute. your writing and sentence structure is very good. you have a very clear theme and a positive, inspirational, message for all those seeking something real and something to build dreams upon (writing.com) and i can honestly say that i agree 100%. now what i am curious about is that i entered a contest, and two of my other friends entered the same contest as the one you mentioned. we all recieved the same internet messages, and the same mailed messages as the ones you described...my concern is that it maybe a fraud??? don't know and hope not. I cannot afford the trip fees but am very glad to know you are going so i wish you the best of luck to you!
this one is very sad. its also very sad that its true. i used to help in what they call an old folks home, and you could always tell the ones that never get any attention. i started by going there to visit my grandfather, but after he passed i felt it was necessary to continue going because of the way it made everyone there feel just to sit and talk to them for an hour or more. the stories they tell, made up or not, were always the best. and no matter the story you told them, they'd laugh or cry like it was the only thing in the world that matter most. i hope that others read this and see how important it is that you not fear the elderly and just realize that they too are only human, and every human needs companionship. great job.
Long distance relationships are so hard, yet such a beautiful thing. I love this one because it describes a past relationship I was once in. It reminded me of how desperately I wanted to be with this person even though I knew it wasn't possible because of the distance. Love makes you do crazy things. Great job and look forward to reading more poems. Just curious, have you ever been published?
Once again you amaze me at how easy you make this look. Poetry itself is not easy for me to write, muchless taking another word and writing from that. You know I love your poems, and continue to love them everytime I read a new one. I especially love this one because its very sentimental, the kind I'd like to share with my partner. Great job!
thanks for the opportunity and this was great. the prompt you created was very easy for me to write to. p.s. i would like to know more about helping as a judge if you still need some.
i would say overall this was a well written story. kind of sad and dark but i guess that was the life the character was living. the message of how dark reality can be was very clear and right in your face so to speak, and i think all of us have lived this at one moment or another...all you can do is learn from experience and not take life to serious, and this is from a lesbian from a very small community who was almost outted of her hometown. you just learn to deal with it. anyway, great story. very revealing and emotional.
I too struggle with spirituality. I've always had doubts as well as questions that no one has ever been able to answer. Since I am openly gay and found my partner for life, it has since began to bother me that I sometimes don't feel I have anything to believe in at this point. But maybe true spirituality comes from belief in yourself and knowing that if you wish everything to turn out right, then it will. I have followed much of the buddist beliefs and realize that much of what they are trying to teach is good morals and trusting in yourself. If its meant to be it will be. Know it and believe it!
This was one of those kind of stories that makes you think. At first I wasn't sure what was going on, but when you do realize it, you kind of get sucked into it. I felt like I was there experiencing the same sort of things and going through it all with the characters. I was a little disappointed toward the end. I felt there should have been more...maybe a sequel?
I wish everyone could have a rainbow. Rainbows are so viberant and full of joy. If the whole world was filled with rainbows, just maybe there wouldn't be as much hatred. I chose to put the word "rainbow" in my name because I believe in the power of a rainbow. You just can't help but smile and feel at ease near one. I wish you many many rainbows!
I too have a great fear of flying, the only difference is I don't think I could even begin to think about boarding a plane let alone actually being in the air. Everything you described here about the feeling and the anticipation you feel everytime you board is what I dream about and feel just seeing a plane. Maybe silly, I know, and just maybe I too will try to overcome this fear.
I love your theme and message here. I also loved the way you pull your reader with every line. It was very descriptive and very deep. The progression through time and how the graffti started out to be something of a rebellion and something fun, to something much more meaningful is truely unique. Great work and good luck!
I don't feel their is much that needs to be changed or edited. I truely feel for the characters and they are very relatable. I enjoyed the story very much and want you to know that writing is very clear and descriptive enough to paint a true picture. I enjoyed the story, no matter how sad at points.
Thanks a bunch! I think I understand now. I will try to use it to update my portfolio and hopefully create easier to read material. Feel free to stop by and read the revised material after a bit and earn more points. Again thanks for your help, it is very much appreciated. (EnduReviewerII)
This was one of the saddest things I've ever read. I've never had anyone die in my arms, but I did have a friend that killed herself hours after I seen her, so this story touched me very much and kind of reminded me of things I had almost forgotten. You never forget that type of moment, but some of the feelings being to fade after time....my friend is still very much remembered as I hope your sister is. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. (EnduReviewerII)
Just like I told you in winterwonderland, I love your style of poetry. I especially like how you create a word and create a poem from the individual letters. I've never read many poems like that, so it amazes me time and time again when I read your poems how creative you truely are. I look forward to reading many more of your writing. (EnduReviewerII)
This reminded me of that song "signs, signs...everywhere there are signs", which has always been one of my favorite songs. Because the irony even in your writing is how no matter what you are doing, no matter where you go, even on every piece of equipment you use, there is a sign telling you to do something, don't do something, everything you need to think. What would this world be like if no one else thought for them? (EnduReviewerII)
I don't like arsonists either. If justice was served by eye for and eye, I'm not even sure that would be enought to teach them a lesson. When I was a child, I too experiment with fire. I burned my finger and caught my favorite toy on fire, because I lost the most important thing to me when I was a child, it really set in my mind the importance of not playing with fire. Although, arsonist is not something that can be compared to a childhood mischiefness, I think that the way to make an arsonist see its damage is to make them look at each thing, person, or animal their fire has destroyed and make them see how it has damaged it and ruined each persons lives...maybe thats how we end the senseless fires.
(EnduReviewerII)
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shansrainbows
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 7:57pm on Nov 15, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
