I found this piece rather poignant in it's overall message with a few technical points that slightly distracted or pulled me out of the emotion.
I felt a real pace to the way the two word lines work starting with "dissolving dreams" and so coming across the comma at "threats, anger" is quite jarring - especially given there isn't a stanza break here. Although I do like that the following line is 'from exhaustion' as it feels like my brain has also had time to rest at this point.
I'm not sure if you were trying to achieve a specific metre or rhythm with the line length but I feel that having got into the swing of the two word lines the occasional longer lines then feel out of place.
The closing stanza also reads more as prose than the rest and while I have no problem with that, I wonder if perhaps you could tweak it to more closely resemble and fit with the rest of the poem. I think with some re-working on the technical aspects this could be a highly effective and impactful piece of poetry.
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