Well put. Nice quotes. you have inspired me to read more widely on Writers.com. I am already an avid reader but I will try some unfamiliar genres for inspiration and ideas. Thank you for your great article.
Interesting story. Rachel is an interesting character. Maybe you could go back a bit further into Rachel's past to tell the reader what her life was like before Shane. Why didn't she ever smile before meeting him?
The last two paragraphs need more description. They are very beautiful and I think you can do more with them.
The birds work well and could be expanded as an image.
Great characterisation. It really made me identify with Jenny. Excellent comedy throughout. It really made me laugh. Excellent description ie. chained to stepladders and elastic bands in your stomach. Gave me good visuals and pulled me into the story. In a couple of places it is hard to work out who you are talking about eg. 'Garth had said she would get picked up at 10.15 it was now 10.45 and she was worried.' It's because you are using her instead of the persons name. Not sure what the significance was of the learner driver part. Some of your grammar could do with a bit of tidying up but this may be a draft.
Overall great comedy writing. Keep at it.
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