The story is interesting...but perhaps more suspense could have been added I got the feeling that it was leading up to something.....so personally felt the climax was a tad disappointing....but on the whole it was a simple sad story...keep sharing
Vanillafire....A touchingly sweet composition written by you.The feelings in it are pretty strong and can be identified with.There is a blend of both clarity and eloquence.
The blank verse still serves to produces rhythm which is great!.....keep sharing
This is a well written piece.The hyperbole aspect in it is perfect.....meaning taken seriously by the poet.The ideas contained therein is classic,the power of exaggeration is wonderful
kindly bear with my criticism...I only intend it to be constructive........and objective.The point is that I think the refrain could have been repeated less no.of times.on the other hand it is a wonderful poem with great rhyme scheme and universal thought and experience(content matter)
This is a soul stirring poem,touching and sincere.
words well chosen and they have a smooth flow....spontaneity of thought is natural and strong.
feelings also run very powerfully throughout the expanse of the poem
only thing is the last part/line is sad,ending on a note of pessimism,as you shared that you were upset.Guess this is a
reflection of that.Keep sharing coz you have a natural spontaneous poet.
To R. Kingly,The poem contains a confession.the feelings have been expressed explicitly and and the poem is marked by simplicity of human sentiment.One can easily identify with the thoughts that have been expressed in the poem.It is indeed a very nice read
The sentiments here have been well expressed.you have shared your innermost feelings and laid them bare,sharing a common human experience so vividly.It feels great when one can identify with the message in your poem.great work. keep sharing
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