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Review of Never Far Away  Open in new Window.
Review by Rulerxion Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like the emotion here, but overall I think it is a bit too wordy. It looks like you wrote a short story then split up the sentences to make a poem. It's not really a bad thing, but some lines seemed like a mouthful. Using contractions would help, like in line three you'll instead of you will. I don't know if you were using a specific meter, but I think changing the wording will help the flow.
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