The first chapter introduces an intriguing blend of science fiction and corporate intrigue, with Peter Doleman’s mysterious revelations about "Orgone" and its connection to ancient technologies. The dialogue is sharp, with the banter between Peter and his sceptical nephew, Liam, establishing both characters’ personalities—Peter as an eccentric, slightly mystical figure and Liam as grounded and pragmatic. The chapter effectively builds tension and curiosity, hinting at a deeper story involving unconventional experiments and possibly world-changing discoveries. Peter’s excitement and Liam’s reluctance set up an interesting dynamic, while the mention of the "Prism" and Orgone suggests a larger, unexplored mystery. The setting, combining a corporate office with outlandish theories, creates a fun contrast, and the chapter leaves readers eager to see how the story unfolds.
This story, set during a Super Bowl party in 1996, captures the playful and often unpredictable dynamics of long-time friendships. With a mix of humor, awkward situations, and unexpected intimacy, the tale explores themes of marriage, attraction, and the tension between societal norms and personal desires. The main characters—close friends with shared histories—navigate a series of humorous and sometimes provocative moments. A specific kiss between the narrator's wife, Sherry, and her best friend, Lori, becomes a turning point, causing both hilarity and reflection on the complexities of relationships. While the narrative leans heavily into male gaze and objectification, it also portrays a sense of camaraderie and a humorous take on the challenges of long-term relationships. The story is engaging for those who enjoy exploring the more playful and controversial aspects of friendships and marriage, though its tone may not be suitable for all readers.
I read the first few lines and already became lost. The perspective is garbled, jumping from first to second to third person unreasonably and half the clauses in the sentences don't even make sense. A poor effort, at least sort your English before trying to tell a story.
Probably should have read this one before Vol. 3. I honestly find it difficult to find works quite as... Shall we say... Honest about themselves. This website tends to deck with mainly fanfiction, but this story seems very serious about itself. Amongst its various shortcomings in its plot, I respect its tenacity and will written English.
Some good writing, but falls down to the shortcomings that many interactive stories do. There is a severe lack of content which ruins the experience of the story. There are tense changes, perspective changes ie. from third to first person and it ultimately disjoints the writing. A shame.
I don't think I've seen an interactive story quite so detailed on each chapter. This story offers many choices surrounding expansion fetishes, in great detail and exuberance. The only thing this would benefit from is more continuations of each story path.
This is truly one of the best interactive weight gain stories I have come across on this site. The vast quantity of choices and material this work now offers wets one's tastebuds (and elsewhere...) for more as it is well written and is quite fulfilling in providing what you wish to read. Love it.
Disappointing. I followed this under the pretense that it was of the Vore category but this cannot be considered this, but rather this is mere consumer cannibalism. However, this piece is well written, even with my disappointment of content, which would not be a good enough reason to call this bad writing.
I wish not to say too much about this piece for fear of taking away from one's first read of this piece. However what I will say is that it is intriguing in concept and execution, and truly very will written. A great piece of poetry exploring the broken mind.
I love the structure of this piece. It comes across as if it is someone is being bombardedby their own thoughts, feeling scared, almost rambling as if being driven insane by the deep thoughts being discussed in this poem.
The poem provides great criticism over our moral views surrounding sex and procreation, and it's conflicts with religion, namely Christianity, and provides the account of one who is fed up of the contradictions.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story, as it is very diverse in its approaches to the main character gaining weight. There are many routes written in reach path allowing for you to truly receive a personalized experience. Some situations are realistic whilst others are fantastical and extraordinary, meaning there is something for everyone who has come here to satiate their unique tastes.
The main thing this story lacks however is the use of good grammar and/or structure, probably due to the vast number of chapters available.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ronniejacob
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 12:20pm on Mar 04, 2025 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
