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Review Requests: OFF
167 Public Reviews Given
167 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
To begin with paragraph by paragraph. If get engrossed, I will enjoy reading more than reviewing.
Favorite Genres
spiritual, short stories, articles
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica,free flow poetry
Favorite Item Types
articles,short stories
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I came into this wanting to read something new and imaginative item. You have fed me with quite a lot. I did smile when Magnus used his urinating skills to wake up the human. Good description for a small funny incident.
With respect to mechanics, you have been able to give a fair picture of what was happening from a nonhuman perspective using human language. That is pretty imaginative. I find it funny though that cats can read and understand the time as humans have symbolized it using a clock.


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2
Review of My Chains  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Eleven lines of fantastic insights.

The start of the poem looked like a move in the direction of negativity describing the mental prison we have created for ourselves with no possibility of escape. The description using 'brass steel' indicates the strength of those beliefs. we have wedded ourselves to.

I liked the ending and the keen desire expressed to break the 'brass steel'. Thank you very much for this poem. Keep writing.


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3
3
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Being a non-African there was a quite a good amount of information about the sexual behaviors and rituals in this article. The information is quite interesting and is informative.

However, I wish you had paid some attention towards simple grammatical issues. There are just too many in the article like 'that that' and missing letters 'o' instead of 'to'. A proofread may be helpful.

However, I am thankful to you for the new information. Keep writing.


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4
4
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You nailed it. That too in five trivial looking extremely meaningful lines. It described the exact way I watched my life unfolded with only exception that love has not dead yet and is not going to die either. The poem is too small and too swift a read. I suggest you extend it a bit to make it more meaningful by adding something to the effect that reflects the words along with their extra meanings in the title.

I have liked it immensely and would urge you to write more, though not be this concise! Thanks for giving me worth my time spent in reading.


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5
5
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
First of all, thank you for providing a rhyme, which is pretty rare these days.

I came into reading this with a morose mood hoping to perk up a bit. In eight precise lines you have succeeded in doing it. My takeaway is simply this "A fated journey, no remorse, exactly like God planned."
Please keep writing such things, they will help someone or other in their need. The theme of the poem is eternal and always remains relevant. Thanks again.
6
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Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem came across me when I was looking for some inspiration on a dull sunday. I looked at the title and decided that this was designed and delivered for me. You did not disappoint me at all. First two lines were the reminders to me which I required badly. Thank you. Second stanza too start with reminding our innate abilities as human beings. Yes. Everyone is blessed, so is everything. Last stanza looks more as an advice. Anyway, it is worth taking. Keep writing. One critical aspect though : all stanzas are not equal in length(in terms of lines).


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7
7
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
At the outset, I appreciate your choosing me as a reviewer for your story.

This review is not exhaustive, neither is meant to extra critical.

You have an innate flow of telling a story. You need to supplement it by language. You seem to be too wordy. That means you can reduce the number of words, yet tell the story with same effect. Flow is important and do not loose it!

Here are some of the observations and suggestions. Hope I am not hurting you!

Please reduce the number of long sentences as they are going to hinder reading.There are just too many for the size of the story. A good way to break them is where you find a need for the word and. Some of the sentences are :

1. We don't go fishing together, and we don't go clubbing together, and he's told me what he does for a living at least a dozen times now but it must not be anything exciting because I honestly can't remember what it was.
2. I mean, I can see him sitting in some martini-slinging jazz club thinking 'God, I bet Tyler's doing something really normal right now, that jerk!' even though if I texted him the words 'four fingers' right now he'd set down his martini and get his ass over here.
3. But if truth be told, he's a modest man, and given the choice between trivializing the only great series of events I may ever have to tell, and exaggerating it, I'd rather err on the side of epic.
4. I wasn't sure what mages were, but apparently they didn't wave their arms and shout, 'MAAAAGE!', because Nathan got very snippy with me when I tried this particular role playing technique, then went back to telling Tim about his big shiny enchanted bough.

How about making some sentences direct? examples are
Abraham Foellinger and I are not friends.
Abraham was at another table, I think.

There are many such sentences.

Here is a sentence I liked the most
The relationship between Abraham Foellinger and myself is not a friendship in the same way that an AK-47 is not a crossbow.


Hope this review helps.


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8
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Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an instant impressed review and records immediate feelings. In one sentence I liked the way you are rhyming. There was one moment when I could not really catch the rhyming between 'finally' and 'see'. Good to see that you can write poem on an almost obscure subject like sleep. It does require commendable amount of imagination. Keep up that imagination. Keep writing.
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Review of Fast Food Heaven  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for reminding two important things about our food.
In the first part the attractiveness and desire for the food were created beautifully through the words. Your marketing was excellent and more than enough to let the reader down to deal with a unpalatable warning after a satisfying meal(It was no at all tasty!). Personally, I enjoy reading and writing stuff involving contradiction. Perhaps, that happens to be the reason why I really engulfed your meal. Hope it will not cause indigestion. I am a lazy guy and do not ask me to burn the calories!


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10
10
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
At times I feel that all of us are making a mistake by allowing ourselves to grow with the time. This becomes acute when I watch a kid.I quote "The humorous simplicity of her pleasure struck me." from your own story. It really has many many meanings. I have already come to a conclusion about the life and perhaps it will capture the essence of your story and I am going to state that as next sentence. "It is in accepting the lows and highs presented by life and enjoying them equally we meet our destiny".


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11
11
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I appreciate the imagination and idea behind the story. Even your narration style is really good.I found one lacuna though. Either you have not done a proper proofread or you were in a hurry. That has left several small grammatical errors. For example "I use to stress myself" should be "I used to stress myself ".Please take care of these kind of stuff and you can blossom out as a good writer!


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Review of Gift of Grace  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I was desperately looking for reading something on thanks giving and I found your free verse.First of all thank you. I have read every stanza at least twice and thanking you in the process for the verbal play you have carried out.Your ideas give a lot of scope for thinking. I too want to end this review with your own words "Everyday for me is an act of faith, a Gift of Grace".


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13
13
Review of Whispers  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
When personal experience is recorded with care through the medium of poetry it will surely touch the heart of the reader. You are successful in doing that. The relationship with grand parents is something extraordinarily different. Somehow they seem to be loving us more than our parents. Your effort in rhyming is commendable. Thanks and keep writing.


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14
14
Review of The Beginning  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The title got me curious. Well, my curiosity did not let me down. It took me a while to understand that you were describing an encounter which resulted in changing your life. Only one observation though. Honesty from one side draws out honesty from other side automatically. Now coming to your writing style. I felt it is smooth and flowing. Perhaps, you can think of improving on dialogues. Thanks.


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15
15
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It was bit tough for me to understand until reached to the middle of the story. After that it turned out to be an an easy and read by itself. Your dialogues are nice and that seems to be your strength. I could not find any language and grammar issues also. Your writing style is good. Keep writing different kinds of stuff using your strength with dialogue writing.


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16
16
Review of Multivalence  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Dan Sturn's attempt to explain something conventional in an unconventional way is likely to be successfully understood by very few. In fact the philosophy itself is meant to be understood by only a few persons. The style of explanation chosen is pretty difficult one to handle even for an extremely celebrated author to handle. At times I do try to write in this kind of a style, but to my surprise reviewers and readers do not like the output. I can understand and assume that Dan Sturn is absolutely thrilled to write this stuff. Keep writing and thanks.


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17
Review of Intervention  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Well, your claim "A mind blowing read, in my eyes and everyone who has read it." seems to be right. Anyway, it all depends on the ability of the reader to understand and let loose his imagination. I have enjoyed reading this. I would not mind reading something more. Thanks.


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18
18
Review of Black  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
If it is a case of letting out your frustration through writing, I appreciate your action. I have read it twice hoping to draw something out of it. I am sorry. I did not get anything. Please do not get discouraged. I need to point out a simple truth: It requires a lot of courage to write down your feelings. It requires much more courage to publish it. Keep writing. Thanks.


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19
19
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You have narrated nice story with an unexpected ending. The theme of the story lies in using cruelty to generate feelings. You have really succeeded in doing that. Coming to writing mechanics. You have your own style of narration. The writing flows easily. In fact you should write more. Your dialogues in the story were impressive. Thanks a lot.


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20
20
Review of Amsterdam  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Every time I read your writings I have reason to be happy. They are almost always involving one person thinking about the other and exemplifying the thoughts about the other. The way you go on building the picture through the words is admirable. In this one, to begin with, I felt airport details are slightly more than required. Otherwise, there was everything else to enjoy. Thanks a lot. Keep writing this way.


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21
21
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I need to say you given good and gripping narration of the story. Your dialogues were excellent. It flowed to the end easily. Please use your above mentioned strengths in improving your writing. Just forgot..good way of hanging the suspense in the end. Thanks for publishing. Keep writing.


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22
22
Review of My Angel  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
I am still thinking. What did I read? The second reading suggests that you are trying to provide a decent release to your frustrations through writing and that was clarified by your description. I am not sure what you have in your life now by reading this. However, writing is a good habit for releasing one's frustrations. Publishing requires courage. I appreciate you on both. Keep writing.


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23
23
Review of Misshapen  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked it heavily! Not for the words used. But for the idea. It is a well known fact that if nature is partial in giving one capability, it is over partial(on the other extreme) in giving another capability(For example I have seen many extraordinary musicians who are totally blind!). Now coming to poem itself. It is well written. You are blessed with words. Please keep writing.


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24
24
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Dear Amber, even without your explanation at the end your writing was able to generate a lot of feelings in me. I appreciate the fact that you have chosen the path of writing to derive solace out of the difficult living. I appreciate the fact that you have mixed both joys and sorrows to depict what they are. It was an excellent read. Thanks for writing this and I request you to continue writing.


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25
25
Review of The Chase  Open in new Window.
Review by RogerBlingham Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Moment I read "All of us who have loved and lost a cherished pet understand the pain.", I knew that this article is going to be different one from you and I was happy to read. Well, I have a simple question, Why did you restrict the question to only animal pets? As per me it applies to any kind of things you love, including things like a dilapidated book. Anyway, that does not take away any value out of the essay. As usual you write things beautifully. Thanks again.


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