Hi. This is a good start of a longer story. You should definitely continue it. I would be interested to read it. I just hope that you change the font color and insert spaces between the paragraphs as the way they are now it's a bit hard to read. :)
Hi. I like your small story a lot. Especially the description of the kitchen. It's very vivid. My only remark is - I don't know if it's just me, but all the names start with R and it confuses me a bit. Maybe you meant it to be so.
Hi. I like your story. It seems as if itis nonfiction, but who knows. It builds up the atmosphere. I guess if you intended you could have made it really scary - something about the doll, or his dreams, or whatever but as it is the ending is still pretty satisfying. I also very much liked your style and the pace of the story. It flowed nicely.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/robertratman
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:53am on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
