Expressing friendship in an unusual way is a great strength to this plot. Friendship is something to be cherished but you say you regret it. Yes it's true sometimes.
Your choice of selecting a poetic form instead of the traditional prose is perfect and it really suits you.
Though it is sufficient to express your feelings with the use of modern vocabulary words, there is a lagging in coherence.
You kept the fist part quite interesting without revealing the real part and it makes it really a worth reading one.
Really a good piece. The content was good and your usage of terms is limited and that explains the short story clearly without any kind of mistakes. Finishing was good and interesting.
I couldn't find any flaws. Appreciable one
Fine, simple and clean. Vocabulary is not that much complex well it could have been. You tried to show the true nature of humans but the use of serious words wasn't there to keep up the weight. Detailed explanation of vultures and the specific nature of comparison is appreciable.
One small mistake was noticed, 'human kind are' I don't think that are is suitable there please do correct it.
Congratulations.
First of all congrats for bringing up hope in readers. Nice vocabulary and personification. rhythm and rhyme is awestruck.Use of 'we' brings you very close to the readers and the reality is shown perfectly. Ending up with a question makes us to think for a moment which strikes the fact that we lost it.
Hey davii,
Good try to jot down what has happened in your life .simultaneously you should check over the person point of view and tense. I came across couple of mistakes, and 'I was worry' but it should be I was worrying.
Good detailed description and very picky on the words.But referring a doc as a poor creature is absurd.since it says it will be continued i think this might be a novel,though the word 'she' you used gave a glimpse of the ladylove, a very good way to make the new readers to understand this part.
nice work and looking forward for it's completion.
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