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368 Public Reviews Given
422 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I always loved watching Mr. Rogers. He was my favorite thing to watch and I cried when I found out he had died. Like you said he made his shows easy for kids to understand and yet learn at the same time. I dont think there will ever be another show, or man, as great and wonderful as he was.
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Review of The ABC's of Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
excess use : I would have excessive use.

first: WHOOHOO GO Pittsburgh..that's where I live as well, and yes living here makes us who we are.

I enjoyed reading this and think I may have to do one for myself as well, to see what I could come up with though I think some would be the same (Christian related ones)
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Review of Wonder  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Significance
signified

For some reason, to me that feels a bit choppy and like "signified" should be somehting else...not sure though. maybe some form of punctuation i.e

Significance:
signified

I highly enjoyed reading this. I made me want to go outside and lay in the grass and look up at the clouds. I liked how you had marvel on its own, made the word really stound out. as both people who marvel and a command that people should marvel.
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Review of Forever  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was an interesting piece. I have never really seen a poem structured like this one, I like it, but at some points it got a little confusing. There were times when I wasn't sure if the one word lines were going with the pervious line or the next.
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Review of Blind Faith  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
wow I really enjoyed reading this. It makes me think of the verse "walk by faith and not by sight." I think you did a good job at making your reader think.

Though I can see, there are things I believe in that can't be seen (if that makes sense). THis piece made me appreciate my faith more. Thanks
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Review of My Friend  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This has an unfinished feel. I don't know what it is but I have this feeling that there's more to this poem.

I would suggest adding in some sort of punctuation so that readers know when there needs to be a cuase, or they could pause. Punctuation can really add to the dramatic affect of a poem
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Review of Cold  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
snow that you: You can take out "that" not needed: nine times out of ten "that" isn't needed.

I was so not expecting that. I had o read the last few lines to actually realize what had happened. Great job with this. Your end was not expected and pretty much stunned me for a couple seconds. God Job!
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Review of Sword and Knife  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
this was a different poem. Was there a reason why the "knife" was underlined?

"Caused pain, gave hope" I found that to be an interesting way to end the first stanza, it just leaves your reader wondering what you mean and how can sword and knife give hope.
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
awe sorry you had the misfortune of the dog running away. Maybe you can add in what the owners said when they got the message.

clawing into one of our doors: I may change the "into" to "on" it was alittle confusing, I thought he had clawed through the door.
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Review of Luminesce  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
"shadow of hope" this image just jumped out at me. It stood out from the rest of the poem as if hope was once there, but is now gone.

I liked some the word choices you used (sonorous, titillates, pulsates) not words one would hear everyday.

The last stanza I would break up alittle. I would have "For in this.." as it's own stanza.
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Review of Worm Pie  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You can imagine my friend: comma after "friend"

All I can say is EWWW. The idea of worms spinning and whirling in my washer and dryer is icky haha. They'd get baked onto your clothes and what not gross.

This was a fun poem to read, the couplets add the youthfulness of this.
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
piece but moved on: comma after "piece"
feel guilt.: guilt or guilty? either would work.
special taste treat: tasty treat

Oh that's not fair not telling us what was written on the paper! :)

I enjoyed reading this and now have a deep craving for some GOOD choclate. Next time I have some I'll have to savor it and remember this story.
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Review of untitled  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think you did a good job with the sonet, they are sometimes hard to write. Where there any specifics with the assignment, like did it have to be a Shakespearean sonnet or not.

Either way you did a wonderful job. I like the last lines they hold the most weight in the poem and really draws it to a close. Great work.
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Review of Dreary  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think you should come back to this and expand on it. what do Jason and Suzie look like, does he see her in a way he never saw her before. describe the sunset. Add in things that would add to the setting and then take us to dinner or to another day. I think you have the potiential for a gret story here.
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Review of Undecided  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
My heart is weeping: take out "is"...then the second line keeps with the structure of the first.


This was a powerful piece. I'm not sure if the fact that I'm listening to 80's break-up songs add to the effect or not haha. But I got the feel of a break-up that left things undone, I guess you could say.
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Review of Untitled #1  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
The fourth stanza doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem. It has more intensity than the other four stanzas do. The image of striping one down to their marrow is some-what dark, but that may be what you are trying to do with it. On a first reading it was hard to understand, but after two or three it become clearer.
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Review of The Song of Hope  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this one, full of hope and determination.

The picture before the poem ads to the effect of hope soaring through your heart. The last line, though seems to stand out, to me it didn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem for some odd reason.
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Review of Jesus Set Me Free  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
this was good. I could never be able to write with internal rhyme like this.

Just one suggestion would be to add some puncuation, so that the reader would know when to pause and when not to pause. Or you could add in breaks....I would make the lines about having Jesus in your life seperate from the rest...kinda like you life is new and you're future is a new beginning. Does that make sense?
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
The description said that this was a short interlude, are there more lyrics to go with this?

You have a nice constant line structure with the "I've ..." and "Someone..." except in the line "Here to guide me" to keep with the structure of the rest of this how about changing it to "Someone to guide me"?

Either way I liked it.
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
its crawling: it's

wow this is a powerful piece. THe only suggestion I have is to break this up into stanzas. like the first stanza can end with "get high" and the second can end with "and the such", third ends with "crawl into", another can end with "see them everywhere". Just an idea.

I enjoyed reading this. I'll visit your port sometime soon.
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
couple times so: comma after "times"
of the land Flint set up : comma after "land"
his camp set up Flint: comma after "up"

There are a couple more points that need commas, but I overlooked them to read this for content not grammer. I would suggest though not using the name all the time, there are some times where you can simply use "he" since there is only one character.

I'll go back and read the other two chapters later today or tomorrow. I liked the beginning of this and get the feel that it's geared toward children, am I right?
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Review of Storm fear  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
It taste of rain: what do you mean here? or did you want "Its"

It is mild.: same with this one, I don't fully understand it's use.

this was a well written piece. I get the idea that you are trying to sooth the child to sleep it's a sweet poe,m and I enjoyed reading it.
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
"You might be a college kid if you wake up at 7:49, and get dressed and ready and still make it to an 8 am class 4 minutes early"

I have totally done this! 8 am American Lit is so the worst.

Got one for ya...

"You might be a college kid if you know all the words to frat boy drinking songs, yet you aren't in a frat."
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Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
ohh I like it!

I may have to try this technique with my next poem. although I may use all ten (area code)...I noticed you didn't was there a reason for that?

I was also wondering what does "Elohim Yirah" "Yahveh Rapha," mean?

The last line: "Heal my wounded spirit, God!" I just LOVED!!! :0

p.s. my ringer is "Hallelujah" also.
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Review of Thank You  Open in new Window.
Review by Felrona Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Personally I would have the last line on it's own. I think that would give this piece a more dramatic effect.

This piece was very open I guess you could say, what I mean is that it's open about you're love for this woman. It's a great poem. "love and passion beyond the glamour and fashion" I liked that the best.
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