A well crafted group of scenes with amusing language. Skill-wise, the story is pretty good. And I base this on how seamless the story feels to me as a reader.
The label of "fantasy" as the genre led me to think that something extraordinary was going to happen. While these standard events were baited with the right amount of intrigue and wit to carry me to the finish, I found that I had to settle for the nice and logical ending as opposed to something more intriguing.
Certainly "the fixer" seemed fantastical, in an everyday kind of way, once I digested fully what he does and what he had accomplished here, and in that sense the duo did walk a path a bit more vivid with good nature and amusement.
But even though my personal interests left me wanting something more, I think you have a damn good way with plot in this tale.
Not bad. It is really simple though. I found that each stanza seemed like a different version of the one before: tragedy, hate, "I'm lost! and theres nothing I can do!"
If that was your point then you play it well, but maybe a climax and a hidden meaning would've added dimension, something to make it more interesting.
Your argument is intriguing, obviously so since I am responding to it.
It had bothered me most of my life that people always seemed to throw up the dividing line between science and God, yet it always seemed an obvious possibility that God created science, or rather made it possible for humans to perform.
Obviously you believe that there is some all-powerful and unexplainable force that we have come to call God(correct me if I am wrong), and though there may not be scientific proof that would satisfy many people, perhaps we were meant to find God through means according to His own design.
I am the type of person that considers all possiblities at every level I dare to conceive. Every scenerio, every facet that just may be the truth, I know it is necessary to explore beyond what we consider to be beyond. Though sometimes I come to the conclusion that such a search is not necessary or even wise, for I have everything I will ever need right now, but still a part of me will remain ever curious. The willingness and ambition of such curiosity is another matter though. Such things I leave to the mercy of fate.
Though absurd, try to look at everything you know and everything you know about through the eyes of God. I know the best one can try is though their imagination past a certain point, but continue anyways. If God created us in his image and everything we know, if God was at one point in our time vengeful and full of wrath, if one of his very own angel's denied Him and makes it a very clear point to mock him, what then do you feel as this God?
I would feel like a player in a much larger game than we could ever imagine as humans, so much so , that perhaps when we are referred to as "children of God", the term is literal. As children, we still have much more to learn before we can even comprehend what is really going on around us.
After all this wonderment, I know that I always try to wrap massive groups of ideas and methods into tiny packages so that I can take them anywhere I may need them, but I have realized that life is constantly moving and there isn't always room for such luggage.
Take life as it comes, I try to tell myself, and don't bitch about the s***ty parts. Maybe when its all over someone will tell us why.
"...Existence itself had been unbalance(d,) distorting all forms of energy." : Maybe this is how was supposed to be read?
The story has a strong history behind it. I've put so much time into just the worlds that my stories take place in that it shows as well. I like the names that are used. I didn't understand what certain things could possibly be, but I guess thats what a prologue does to make you read on.
I think good names can make a story a bit more interesting. The references to things like the Great Sixty Year War are interesting. Since it's sci-fi I assume that it is in space, or partially so.
This is a great newsletter. Honestly I can't imagine anyone - short of authors who've made it big already - who would think these things to be annoying. I keep the ones that end up being really useful on hand always. Good information that is simple and basic enough. Keep em coming!
Your words are very true. I myself am in constant want of change, and so I must keep reminding myself to venture out from what I am currently comfortable with, for nothing will change any other way!
I'm not greatly familiar Marcus Aurelius or his works, but from what I picked up in school and the movie "Gladiator" I know he was a very bright and insightful human being. Good quote.
Overall a solid piece with a clear message.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/reeveroverseer
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 1:13am on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
