This was a really great piece! I don't have any criticism for you, I thought the rhyming scheme worked, and the theme was clear and touching. Thanks so much for sharing!
-Rebecca
Hi The Major!
I liked the mystery about Vi in this section!One of my favorite lines was: " Girls were allowed to do everything!" Niall's ruefulness made me laugh. :)
My only criticism is for some easy grammar fixes.
Good luck with your writing! I'll look for more of your writing in the future!
Rebecca
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