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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rampage2000
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Rampage Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am a Byron fan, so nice work. I absolutely adore spiritually themed poetry, and this is a well done tribute piece. I gave you a five star rating because the ability to write "in the manner of" is no small task. I would love to see what spiritually charged stuff you come up with in your own words some day.
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Review of Walk the Stars  Open in new Window.
Review by Rampage Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very nice little snippet of poetry! The only thing I do not like about it is based purely on one of my own quirks as a writer. I don't like the word "light" at the end of both lines ten and eleven. Otherwise, this is good by itself in my opinion, and could also be plugged onto a larger body of work if you like!
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Review by Rampage Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I believe your poem is good, but a little bit confusing. Though the "child cloaked in a man" is a very cool / abstract concept to present in a poem, I feel you can clean up its presentation a bit to make it really shine creepily through the page! The parts that I believe need fixing are: Line 3 - "cold shoulder" is cliche in my opinion. Line 18 - first mention of the "road" seems out of place. Line 8 - Perhaps mention of a "cry" instead of voice? I feel like there is tremendous potential here for chilling metaphor or simile involving a strange baby/man. Good luck my friend!
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