The poem was good overall. However, the vocabulary stood out to me. I felt like the vocabulary wasn't flowing naturaly. It felt like you had just looked up some of the words to put in to the poem to make it sound more professional. Thats a good idea to use maybe with a few words but it doesn't have a natural flow if every other word is a really big word that a lot of people probably wouldn't understand the meaning of it. You have a great, dark poem, but the choice of vocabulary takes away from the actual poem. It makes it harder to tell what it's actually about. But overall this was good and you have a nice creative mind, keep up the good work!
Overall I really liked this poem. There was a few lines that I didn't like. The line where it said "You best believe it wasn't." I didn't like that line because it felt too unprofessional. Also, line 11 I think you meant to say were but you said where, making that specific line look weird and not make any sense. But overall this was a good poem, and it had some really powerful lines in it.
I really enjoyed this poem. The way the stanzas were written was very good. The repetition at the end of the poem really highlighted the fact that the mistress was waiting for the man, and she was longing to feel him again. I felt very interested in this poem, and it made me want to know more. I really liked line 2, "your eyes speak to me, your lips, silent." That was a really powerful line, showing how his eyes were so important to his mistress and how they spoke to her. This was a very well written poem!
The poem was really powerful, with the way the girl was finally able to be free at the end of the poem. Overall it was well written. I didn't like the part where you talked about the girl "twirling and twirling" the word was just overused. If you had used it maybe once, and then added more detail about how happy she was it would have been a lot better.
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