Very touching, and the flow and rhythem are good. Capitalization would help with the readability, and some minor grammar fixes (Clock AT a standstill, regain). Overall, very good, I enjoyed this.
This is really good, I love the mystery at the beginning and the twist at the end. The only problem I had reading it was with all the use of "he" - I wasn't always sure who was talking. Easy fix.
Wow. This story is so real, I would believe it really happened. The emotions are perfect, and I just wanted to cry at the end. This one will stick with me. You have real skill.
This is a really unique idea, I didn't know what to expect! Very fun and poignant story. The dialect is a little hard to read. I would actually be interested in reading more, if this is expanded.
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