Lovely lovely imagery used here and your rhyming is spot on. I really enjoyed reading this. You ahve created an almost magical lyrical quality - it flows like a dream.
Only one suggestion for edit - I feel this poem coudl be developed even further and made into a longer poem to include much much more. See what you think. As it is you have presented a wonderful poem, that stands alone and is enchanting to read.
And now you think and wonder
What do the letters spell?
And no matter how hard we try
Only time will tell
Excellent lines
I really enjoyed reading this. Nice form and flow and great imagery. I like the way you make us hear, feel, touch, see and even think time. Nice job and I look forward to seeing more.
Unusual form and very well written. I really enjoyed reading this poem. You have a great way of making every day life come alive and dancewith the words you write. It sounds just like my place. Excellent I really look forward to seeing more.
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Hi there I love the sadness and poignancy expressed within this poem. The imagery blew mw away and you used a style and form that works well here. Itflows like a dream and I really enjoyed reading this. No suggestions for edit- its fine as it stands and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Please feel free to drop into my port any time to say hello.
Lovely form and flow to this poem it has a wonderful lyrical feel to it and the imagery youhave used is beautful On suggestion for edit is in the first verse where you have used love twice to rhyme - maybe another word at the end of one of these lines would have been better - apart from that I really enjoyed reading this - overall rating 4.5
Drop into my port and say hello some time - you havea lovely writing style
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Ihave to admit thati am not the biggestfan of religious poetry but this grabbed me. Its passionate, very well written and the imagery, language use and flow are excellent The best lines for me arethefirst verse - can ralte to this onsomnay levels - well done and keep writing
Poignant short poem that says so much. Love this! Only one suggestion and that is maybe you could develop this piece to say a lot more? It looks like you could really run with this!
Overall rating is 5 - really enjoyed reading this - Write on!
I could spend all day in your port - fantastic work and this is very special!I love the imagery, the way you have told the story and well just about everythig about this wonderful poem...Brilliant! Am adding you to my favourites...
Hi there- sorryit took a while to get back to you on this one.
Overall impression - yes its great and I am still hooked to the story line..it's brilliant
You might want to check through some this again - there are a couple of typos nothing serious...
I like the scene with the falling obelisk - you created an image of real panic and confusion and the whole piece builds tension and drama with every word - excellent imagery, fantastic story line and I cant wait to see more....
This is a wonderfully written ppoem with a message I can certainly relate to - I am sure others will too. Nice choice of form, keps the whole piece flowing well. Your choice of language works well too. It gets the message across in a very simple and straightforward way.
Overall impression - loved it, keep writing, its good stuff
Love the title - this style of writing and thegenre really appeal to me. I don't normally review porse so please forgive me if i miss anythign vital inthis reveiw.
Your opening paragraph is very well crafted - it adds the tension straight away and compeled me to read on - excellent imagery.
The whole piece flowed beautifully - and made m want to know what is soul born? Whyis it so important that this child isnt? What happens next?
If this develops into a book i woudl love to read it - the possibilitis are endless and I love your writing style - have added you to my favourites - i hope thats ok - can't wait to see how this develops..
Liked this a lot and yes I think it does need developing a little - perhaps you could continue the story?
Form/flow - like it especially the repetition of words on each couplet in the first 6 lines - this works well
Imagery/Language use - works well 'you took me there'. I like this line
Longing for the setting my soul wishes to call home
Overall rating 4.5 - suggestion for edit - typing errors need to be looked at but apart from that this is a lovely poem. I enjoyed reading it very much
The song of a poet- lovely verse - I can see this developing into a really interesting and captivating poemif you want it too. You started the journey here - what discoveries have you found. I love the self exploration aspect of this poem.
I have awarded this a 5 because it is so well written and the message is bery powerful and delivered with excellent imagery and style. Only one suggestion for edit and that's to check you typing in this line
Now if the resulting consequences of this writing, is a mind cnanged, or life enhanced, then
Imagery/Language use - brilliant and absolutely hilarious! I love the way you took it from the microphone's perspective and the ending was sheer genius!
Overall impression - Original, Witty and executed perfectly - look forward to seeing more!
Just raiding your port - and found this gem! brilliantly written short piece of poetrythat spak volumes - very well executed with good flow and another example of your excellent use of imagery - loved it! will come back soon if thats ok to read more of your port and have added you to my favourites - great writing!
I really enjoyed reading this- good writign and excellent imagery use. One thing i am not sure you should be rating this an E maybe a little higher because of its content.
Overall impression - well written and no rhymes forced from what I can see - you have pitched the ryythm of the poem well.
Wow - powerful, passionate and from the heart. Yo have taken on a subject that many could relate to. Excellent flow too..my favourite lines are
The second our eyes met, my heart was yours.
The first kiss we shared, my first kiss,
Sweet and innocent yet sparks flew amiss!
Our meetings became needy,
Keep writing!
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