I really enjoyed that story! The introduction was fantastic, and the events kept me captivated throughout the whole text. It's very well written, the only suggestion I could make would be that in the last paragraph of part one, you say Oliva a lot. Maybe you could use 'she' for some of them if you wanted to change it, but it's so minor change is probably not necessary.
Thank-you for writing this, it was a great story :)
Dayna.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/punk_vegan
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 3:02pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.