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Review by Psychoword Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I just wanted to say that I just randomly stumbled onto your play, and I was very moved by it.

Your use of indirect dialogue and underlying meaning were incredible. I felt as if I were actually listening to a play, instead of reading everyday conversation between people. You have a very good grasp of using shaped dialogue to make the conversation sound real without becoming mundane.

That said, I did feel that the hospital scene, and particularly the conversations between Alan, Linda, and Sam to be a little rushed. The abrupt switch in Sam's mind at the very end happened just a little too quickly in my opinion. Also, your discretion about the subject matter with Sam's "friends" was good, but (at least without seeing the play acted out) it was a little bit too difficult to figure out what was going on without stopping and thinking about it.

Also, I felt a little uncomfortable with Alan calling Sam sir, but this may just be a cultural difference. I would expect to see, especially in 2006, Alan call a boy 8 years his minor something different than "sir".

Those minor comments aside, I really loved this play, and I wish it could have been longer to really develop the character relationships, and to help set up the foundation for the hospital scene at the end. I really believe that you have a gift for writing plays, and hope you continue to do so.
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