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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Foxette Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
First of all, Hello. I am Foxette, and today I'll be giving you a review.

I am afraid to say that this story is in need of great improvement. I respect you, and mean you no offence by my opinion, but truth must be told.

Your grammar is off; you keep switching between tenses and verbs, therefor, this gives the reader an unpleasent difficulty. The good thing is that this could easily be fixed; all you need is an experienced writer to help you.

You do not use ponctuation and Capitals rightfully, which should be done to give the story a good flow. All there is, is a girl finding herself different. I suggest you show us how different she is by writing snippets of her past, and getting into more details. Also, the way you switched between Anonymous P.O.V and First Person P.O.V suddenly is unsettling. I suggest you pick one and complete the story with it.

Again, this is my opinion and you are free to like it or hate it. That relies on you.

Have a good day. :^)
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Review of The Fun House  Open in new Window.
Review by Foxette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This actually gave me chills.

Even though the strorytelling was simple, mostly basic; it was creepy in a savory way. You pictured the characters' fear in a good way, and the way your proceeded from act to act was smooth. I applaud you for that.

All in all, it was a good read, and I want to thank you for that.

So, Thank you.

~By Foxette(Proxie).
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