Wow this was great. Very comelling there was now way i could stop reading it untill the end much like your Character being pulled in the lake. I like how its chaptered it makes it much easyier to read. The way you describe thing is great. I could close my eyes and see the world you were describing. I try to be that decriptive in my on writting but get caught up in my own challenges with speeling amoung others any way Great story cant wait to read more.
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