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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/portlandparker
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20 Public Reviews Given
20 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Apprentices care.  Open in new Window.
Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great flash fiction. I was surprised at how quickly I was drawn into your story. You were skillful in making me see a setting withoug a lot of description. It was a fun read. Congrats on winning.
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Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this poem. I was caught up in it from the beginning.

Media mayhem then ensued, it was entertainment, not the news.

This is a great expression of a concept we often see in "news" stories and really set the tone.

The spokesman’s gaze locked with mine

and his sympathy made me start to cry.

This could be a bit smoother, just a bit of polishing.


Thank you for your poem.
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Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey George: This is not so much a review as a note to tell you that after reading "The Trial" I read "Mom's Chocolate Cake" and enjoyed that also. When time permits I intend to read the rest of your postings. I find them very charming and well written. I like your easygoing writing style..
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Review of The Trial  Open in new Window.
Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really smiled when reading this especially because I think I unwittingly make my husband feel this way sometimes. It gave me a good insight into what it might feel like on the other side of my wifely concern, and the fact that it accomplished this humorously made the insight a bit less painful.

I thought you moved the action along well and especially liked the description of the removal of the cell phone from the charger.

I would like to read more of your work.

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Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed your dialogue and found it whimsical and really on topic for the contest. I felt that your phrasing carried the "story." I suppose for the contest there could have had more conflict/resolution but I think you did a nice job of carrying the action through.
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Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very interesting poem. I like that it can be taken as personal, but really I feel it does seem more strongly political. I felt that you used good descriptive language that helped me to see what you were seeing.

In the second line of the second stanza I wonder if you could eliminate the first "past" and add "your" in its place. You still get the rhythm you are going for. "A semblance of your glory long past," Just a thought.

I enjoyed the poem.
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Review of Lost in the Dark  Open in new Window.
Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am a newbie also and enjoy reading items in our category.

Your piece has an almost poetic feel to it At the beginning when you are describing the darkness you were effective in making me feel lost too. The sentence "Believing that all that could happen....." could perhaps been left out making the above two sentences stronger.

I liked how the action progressed through to finding the light.

Good job. Keep writing.
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Review of Night and Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well, first off congratulations for winning this contest.

The first thing I realized as I read through the story was that I was not noticing the writing, and to me that is always a good thing. The story flowed smoothly covering the many years of friendship.

I hesitate to offer any suggestions because it was so good, but perhaps a little more information about why the two girls were such soul sisters. I definitely understand the bond the horses made, but may just a bit more about what else "clicked" for them.

I really enjoyed the story. Thank you.
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Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This article was one that I really, really liked a lot!!!!! I think these (kind of articles) are helpful to new writers: Those just beginning. When I saw th topic I said "Wow, omg"! that's for me. Please keep writing these helpful, thoughtul, instructional, educational, informational pieces. I look forward to reading more; in the future.
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Review of Color Blind  Open in new Window.
Review by Parker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow. Your story is very compelling and also very well written. The writting flows from beginning to end. This especially touched me because just this week my 8-year-old great niece, who is bi-racial was told by a girl at school that her parents didn't want to play with my niece because she was black. When will this nonsense stop?

Thank you for your story. In my opinion it is completely ready to be sold and published.
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