I like it. Its awesome! I love the little note at the end, and how you left the open choice. I wasn't really sure what kind of vore you used is,, but I like it. Maybe you should make a poll to choose the ending. If you do, please email me back and I will vote.
Im so sorry for you. Reading this poem I feel at ease. I have finally been able to let go that my grandfather passed. I thank you dearly. May your sister rest in peace. I love your poem, quite sad but true. I hope you can live on without her. I didn't see many errors either. Great piece, lots of effort.
I love it! I like vore, and this get down to the gooey details! I like the title, very suiting for the story, and the length. This is a different piece from all other vore stories I have read because you knew your facts, you knew how you were going to say it, you knew what you were looking for. So I say, excellent job! (I did find a few mistakes.)
Shocker! I read part one, and fell in love with it. You have enriched his story by giving it complex details, making the reader watch the whole scene play out in their head. Not once did I see and mistake, and I expected not to. If you ever get the money, please turn your work into a book. The world would fall deeply in love with this, entangled in emotions. You are a favorite of mine since I have joined writing.com, and I am proud to say it.
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