I had no interest in this essay what so ever. i see that its some philoshophy whatever thing but it still didnt speak to me. although dont just take it from me, because im no expert, but maybe this just isnt ur thing. i do like the whole concept thing ur going for though. good luck in the future.
Well, this poem could use some major work. I see that u tryed to make it something that would show us the good things in the world, but it didn't really show that. i found it really boring! Yous also dont seem to have any pattern for the structure of it, its just kinda there. good luck next time.
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