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Review by pablo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
nice story , shows a desire to be wanted. And yet is like forcing the other
to do. Yet it lacks the rhythm . I don't want to be a nag is just that rhyme
and rhythm. My advise is that you stress more on rhythm. Like say
a ride of a roller coaster up and down. And yet in form. like a song.
Don't take this as if I was a critic. I am not that I only express what I have read
and what this makes me feel . Ok but this does not take the beauty of this work away
they beauty of this or it's value. ok nice work pab49
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