This was beautiful. I think I have lived this. This flows so nicely, I love the repeated lines and the chronological/reverse order. My only suggestion would be leave out the "Crap Sh*t, we the readers already feel that and want to choose our own expletive to imagine. Great work
HA!! Very funny poem. I wonder if this little ditty plays through the heads of the poor decision-makers that find their way to our ERs every year. Great rhyming scheme and rhythm. I would like to post this on the visor of my teenager's car. Keep up the great work.
Interesting topic. While these suggestions seem pretty simple and straightforward, I really know some guys that need your assistance. Unfortunately, men get to choose comfort over fashion more often than us women do. I will be on the look out for those "fun" socks this holiday season.
I have lived this pain also. This is very nicely written, from the heart for sure. The last stanza has a small typo: ..."taken to soon" should be "taken too soon. You did a nice job with the rhyming which is not an easy thing. For some reason I find the third stanza slightly awkward. I like the idea of life marching on around our grief but I might rework that one stanza. Great Writing!
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