I enjoyed the story and found it a page-turner. There could have been more description to add to the spooky atmosphere and to create more tension. I really liked the ending and the use of repetition. I would have liked to hear more about your friends. What was it about Becky that made you think you might marry her? Jonny seemed to be a nervous type. Why was that? And I suppose the most interesting point for me, in terms of back story, is why a seventeen year old would be friends with a sixteen year old and a girl around sixteen years old? At that age one year seems like a huge difference, looking back!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nualab
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 1:38am on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
