Wow! Fantastic piece! I'm not normally a poetry reader, but I read your poem down to the last line. Halfway through, I started to sing the piece, even. It's ironic, then, that this piece is so (grotesquely) beautiful, so sickeningly imprisoning, because you really can't stop reading it. I think it really makes a statement about beauty, from (i)her(/i) own point of view for once. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that sort of view on it.
As far as technicality, I was only a little confused at the one line-blank-one line scheme. I thought it could've worked well in stanza, too, and the document wouldn't have been as long. Especially since you did have some ideas that group together. However, I also appreciate that this scheme made a statement for your poem, sort of "cut it off" emotionally, like your Beauty was. The vocabulary worked for me; a piece like this doesn't need the fluffy filigree of an extended word choice to express that Beauty mesmerizes.
Otherwise, please keep up the good work! I really sung the whole piece, because the story came out so strong I just felt it. Write more of your "beautiful" poems!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nothing_found
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:15pm on Nov 07, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
